A memoir

回來台灣一個月了，從一開始踉蹌趕上飛機（然後新加坡的包裹依舊卡在星國，沒有飛機回來），到找到落腳借住的地方，陸續購入各種生活用品，才覺得安穩下來。

說起來，到底念商學院、留學、MBA適不適合自己，還真是沒有個答案。只是一股「想知道金融遊戲怎麼玩」的好奇，就把自己丟進一個充滿正向思考、積極主動的場域裡去，聽人們說這些痛苦掙扎就是「踏出舒適圈」。回頭看每個禮拜寫下的紀錄，都是對自己的信心喊話，英文會進步的、自己會成長的，然後就能邁向充滿希望的未來。

大概是擁有這些對自己的期盼，好像到異地生活就能有所改變。

月初，書再版了，自己是沒太多實感，但某種程度還是鬆了口氣，自己應該沒有讓出版社賠錢、沒有在地球上製造太多垃圾（電子書目前是我的心頭好）

甫出書那天，也寫了篇動態分享給我那些閱讀英文的同學們，據說國外這些Memoir類的書近期很受歡迎，像是Educated: A memoir，台灣翻譯《垃圾場長大的自學人生：從社會邊緣到劍橋博士的震撼教育》，另一本Know My Name則是性侵受害人的自述。相較於在中文的世界裡，要說自己曾經經歷過些什麼，我多少還是滿有些包袱，換成英文，好像就距離更加遙遠，但人們卻總是鼓勵你說出來。

Today, I published my first book “Uncover the Shell" in Taiwan. This book is not just my autobiography (too young to say so), what I depict is how the society and industry change in Taiwan from the 90s and how people struggled. My father was a gambler, he ended up as a contract worker and died because of a construction accident. My mom divorced while I was a child. Bearing debt, she worked a lot and raised me up on her own. Two years ago, I deferred my MBA and stayed with her. She had a stroke before I departed, and after diagnosis, it was cancer. Unfortunately, she ended up with suicide because of cancer’s suffering.
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But I always think she is the most successful woman in the world. I could go to the top university and she always wants me to chase my dream, all supported by her. I really want to write this book to honor her and tell those people who have the same experience, you are not alone. What I learned is to embrace the hard time in your life and live with it, accept the uncertainty. I am a suicide survivor, before this, I was a journalist to write down others’ story, now is my turn to tell my own story.